I am a really ambitious person, who is partnered in life with another extremely ambitious person. It’s great. Our dreams are huge, and I know that we’re going to have an amazing life together. However, we have a wee little problem at the moment: we live in two different countries about 5000kms from one another. For the past 6 months we have been trying to figure out how we can get our lives to mesh together into the same country.
I decided that I could put my academic career on hold and move my butt to Guadalajara for a while and teach English until he graduated. He decided that he would move his butt to Canada as soon as he graduated, and we would live here until I finished my Bachelors and then we could apply to schools together in the UK.
There you go. We’re all good.
Or so we thought.
First, I had an internal crisis after looking at how close I was to graduation and decided that it would be best for me to stay in Canada for those four months instead of spending time in Guadalajara. I would graduate sooner, and we would be free to pursue our Grad/Post-Grad dreams abroad. Plus, if I did make the move to Mexico, I would have been completely reliant on him for everything (translation, transportation and socialization) during the time he was supposed to be working on his Graduate Thesis, and I couldn’t bare the thought of that.
So, I am enrolling in classes next semester, quitting my barista job, and getting my degree ASAP.
On to part two: he was going to move here next summer after he presented his thesis. So, even if I couldn’t be in Mexico for the Spring, at least we knew that we would finally be together come May.
Then he got offered a contract ending in May, which he accepted. Then he started facing university politics, which has pushed back the research for his thesis. Not to mention the fact that he’s having a hard time finding a job that he would be passionate about in Vancouver.
So, we had a long talk and decided that it might be best for us to not push the goal of living together too hard. Yes, it is what we want to ultimately achieve, but in the meantime, we both have a lot more on our plates right now, and if we want to be truly happy together, we have to accommodate each other’s passions.
Now, it may seem like we’re each being a little bit selfish in our own ways. It might seem like I’m just afraid to take the risk to move to another country, but in reality I’m afraid that I’ll go, fall in love with it, and never want to come back here, which will leave my Bachelor’s Degree unfinished. He might seem like he’s unwilling to get any job to pay the bills just to be with me, when in fact he just wants to continue building his career so he has more opportunities in the future.
We’re thinking for the long-term and trying to build a solid footing. We know that we’re going to end up together, one way or another, we just don’t know when. We’re okay with that. We’re doing everything we can to turn our dream into a reality … one day.
So, in closing, enjoy these immortal words from The Supremes, and always remember to make the right decision, even if it’s the harder choice to make. Remember that it will pay off in the end.